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Saturday 26 January 2013

The national finest douche-bag!!!! (Episode 2)

Nash Finest Douchebag (Episode 2)

Tolu walked back to his car and stared at it for some minutes wondering what he was going to do about his situation, he noticed the light on his phone has starting to flick, he unlocked his car and withdrew his phone, his guess was right, it was his boss calling, he knew he was in a big soup already, “ Oga! How far nah!” the newspaper boy distracted him for a moment from him making a decision on whether to pick up or not. “See I dey come, wait first” he shot at the boy in annoyance, the boy decided to rest his back on Tolu’s car, he was bent on collecting the money he had been promised, Tolu took a deep breath and picked his boss call up, “Where the hell are you Tolu, have you forgotten about the presentation this morning? Why do I put up with your nonsense young man?”
His boss attacked him over the phone in sheer vexation. Tolu who held the position for being the biggest liar in the world replied “Sir, I just retrieved my phone now, I’m presently at the police station to give a statement of a theft, my car was snatched from me sir but the police have apprehended the robbers sir, I was on my way to the office when I was attacked by robbers oh! They took my car and sped off, luckily for me the police caught up with them and I’m getting my car back in some minutes sir, I would be with you in minutes sir”, “God damn it Tolu, are you okay, hope you were not harmed?” his boss asked concerned, “No sir, I am very fine sir, the officers need my attention right now sir, I shall be there shortly” Tolu lied again, the lady he had been staring at moments earlier was now about to leave, she had heard most part of his lies and this made her laugh on her way out of the banking premises shaking her head, Tolu smiles at her as he watched her pass but she ignored him, he hung up and made up his mind to go retrieve his atm card from the banking hall, he looked back at the lady one more time and was tempted to go after her for a little chat, he changed his mind when he remembered his job, he asked the newspaper boy to wait some more as he walks into the banking hall.
Tolu quietly prayed as he entered the air-conditioned banking hall that his attendants would be a female, he walked up to the customer care desk and sat down, the pretty girl at the desk pleaded for him to be patient with her while she attended to someone on the phone, he would be more than glad to do that, he sat back and relaxed trying to see what her legs looked like but he could only see her feet, he liked her clean looking feet, he smiled at himself and was just in time to find her watching him with a concerned look, “good morning sir, how may I help you” she said now dropping the phone, he stopped smiling and told her about his atm card, she asked him how-come he lost his card to the atm machine, he was about to start explaining another lie when she cuts through and pointed a room to lodge his compliant, “Your ATM issue would be sorted out when you get over there” she said with a smile. Tolu nodded and stood up trying to be cool, still praying for his female attendant, he got to the entrance of the door-less office and stared at the young man seated at the desk, “You’re welcome sir, please have a seat.” The young man said with a brief smile, Tolu who was indeed very disappointed decided to cut to the chase without even greeting him, “Your ATM machine swallowed my ATM card, your machine’s probably faulty or something” he said with a straight face, “Oh that! We get that a lot here especially from people who are using our ATM machines for the first time” the young man replies with a warm and assuring smile and said to Tolu again “That would be handled soon without delay, Mr ho?”, Tolu who was still irritated with the male attendant he was talking to stared at the young man for some brief seconds and asked out of some kind of vexation “Why are you smiling, are you trying to hit on me?” They both stared at each other as they both realized the stupidity of Tolu’s last statement…………..to be continued.

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