Diary of the grumpy (Who’s the grumpiest of them all?)
Henry turns on his television to watch an old popular Yoruba movie he never
got to finish to the end for once, it was exactly 4pm now which was the scheduled time for the movie to play on national television, there was peace on the
street now and he would be damned if he wasn’t glad about that, he got up to
pick the mug of tea he forgot in the kitchen, he checks his refrigerator for
some cookies, found an empty cookie container and swears under his breath
“Oloshi“ (in English- crazy person)
shaking his head, he threw the container into the bin and opted for the Jacob’s
water crackers instead, he walks back to his seat facing the television with ......
It was now 10mins
to the end of his movie when he heard a low firm knock on the door but decided
to ignore it, the knock came again and he knew if it was his friend Thomas,
Thomas would had come into the house already as he rarely knocked on the door
except when he wanted to irritate him by stressing him to come open the door
for him. His kids would always notify him about their visits before hand even
if it was an hour notification, Henry hissed and got up stealing looks at the
television as he was unconsciously trying to wear his flip-flops, he walked
quickly to the door and opened it immediately without even verifying who had
been knocking, he knew his remaining 6mins of the movie ending was gone as soon
as he saw who was at the door. He couldn’t explain if what he felt at the very
moment was anger or something else, he wanted to slam the door and hurry back
to this movie but he knew that would not had been possible, he knew this
officer standing at the doorway quite well to be the type who wouldn’t care
about what you were missing on television or in life whenever he needed his job
done, he almost hissed again.
“Good evening mister Henry, how are you today? ” he replied looking at
the officer’s name embroidered to his shirt, “I’m fine oh, good evening officer
Douglas, how are you too?“ the officer nods his head in response to Henry, he
took up Henry’s left foot camel with the stick on attached to it and asked if
Henry recognized it, Henry smiled and knew what the meeting was about, “Eh, yes
office that’s my shoe, I threw it at some kids disturbing public peace earlier
today, I needed them to go home to their parents“. Out of almost nowhere the
officer pulled out a boy of like 5years of age from behind him, that was when
Henry noticed the young woman standing not too far behind the officer, she had
been mean-mugging him all along.“ You mean kids like this?“ The officer asked
Henry, Henry was shocked by the tall swelling on the boy’s head and he was
tempted to burst out in laughter, Henry tried his best to give them all a
regretful smile and before he could answer the officer’s questions, the officer
told him that he’d have to follow him to the police station, “Am I being
arrested? “He asked the officer, “ No, at least not right now, we just want you
to come to the station for some questioning “ the officer chuckles, the young
woman who had been quiet all through but had been speaking in annoyance with her
eyes exclaimed in surprise “ Ahn Ahn!, officer what do yoy mean, you wouldn’t
arrest him? Won’t you turn him around and cuff him up?” The officer on hearing this gave the woman a stern
look and told her he would resolve the issue on ground in the most peaceful
way, he promised her all would be sorted out soon, he accompanied this with a
wink and this quieted her, Henry was guessing this officer must think himself
to be so handsome and cool too, why would he wink at a married woman, he
thought. The officer now ushered the woman back to her house two blocks down
the street and looked at Henry to come along with him, Henry now worried he
might finally get the jail sleep or term he had avoided all his life retrieved
his house key from behind the door to lockup. He started at his feet and didn’t
dare ask for the shoe the officer was holding, the officer was now looking
quite serous right now, he locked his door and went towards the beaten police
vehicle parked just at the entrance of his car, he entered the dusty car,
looked around the interior of the car and shook his head, “ This wasn’t the
type of police car he had seen on television“ he thought to himself, he hoped
being in the car was as worst as it would get for him tonight.
The clock on the wall read 7pm now as he waited to be dealt with, shortly
he was invited into an enclosed office with another officer but a female
officer was seated waiting for him, it did looked like some room for getting
people to talk though, the officer wasn’t even smiling at him, and she beckoned
for him to have his seat, he sat down looking at the table and said nothing,
seconds that felt like eternity passed until she finally spoke, if it wasn’t
for her voice and her large bosoms she would had been mistaken to be a man, he
didn’t know if it was her looks that was the next torture for him after he had
been made to ride in an uncomfortable dusty car. It was confusing to look at a
woman with a man’s face, he wondered who must’ve married such a woman and what
kind of children she would had bore for her sorry husband. She looked like a
woman who would beat up her husband up too if he misbehaved judging by the
picture of her and a man on her desk, how could a woman have such a manly face
he kept on thinking-forgetting about what had brought him to the police station
briefly. He secretly hoped she wouldn’t get up, he might finally say what was
hanging in his mouth if she did no matter how she looked standing. After she
was done staring at him, she called his name “mister Henry” I understand you
hurt a child with your shoe, you threw your shoe at a gathering of children,
children playing out on the street, can you explain yourself please? Henry
clears his throat and still staring at the desk he began to explain the event,
she asked him to look up and he reluctantly did, it was worst now when he
looked at her face again, he figured that one of her eye-shadow makeup had been
smeared off, her lips were still covered in her red lipstick though, he
wondered what the woman had been doing before he was brought to her, was
tempted to tell her about her smeared makeup but decided not to, he wouldn’t
want to get into more trouble. He sighed within himself when he realizes that
her lips being intact meant she hadn’t been doing anything with them before
attending to him, she clears her throat and almost startled him out of his
thoughts, he continued his narration without looking at her straight in the face,
she must’ve thought she scared him with her tough look.
He was made to sign a statement and he hoped he wouldn’t be penalized or
charged, she told him the mother of the assaulted child was pressing charges
already and advised him to get a lawyer, she called officer Douglas to take him
back home after collecting the signed papers. He sighed in relief that baffled
her and officer Douglas but they decided not to question him as they were in a
haste to get rid of him too. Officer Douglas advised him on getting to Henry’s
house to apologize to the woman and maybe she might change her mind on pressing
charges. Henry grunted in response to this and told the officer “Goodnight “
while he opened his door. The officer who didn’t return this gesture was
already walking towards his car before Henry could get into his house, he
turned to see the officer getting into his car and shook his head murmuring to
himself “These kids of nowadays have got
no manners at all “, he shuts his door and peered out the closer window to the
house of the woman he was asked to apologize to, shook his head defiantly, he
knew they were going to meet at court soon……….to be continued.
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